for my granddaughters...

Don’t go looking for the man who will buy you flowers and jewelry, or surprise you with fancy vacations. Go looking for the one who buys you the hangers.

The other day, I had mentioned to my husband that I was feeling overwhelmed with all of my laundry, and I had also ran out of hangers. “I’m feeling stressed, and I need to go get some hangers at some point this week. I can’t hang any more clothes, until I have more.," I said to him, quickly.

After that, we both got into the car to head over to a family dinner. As we drove towards my parent’s house, he stopped at the store, and said he needed to grab something.

I sat in the car, with our two young kids in the back asking, “where’s daddy going?” “I have no idea guys, just hold tight," I said back, as I felt myself getting a little annoyed.

“Where is he? We have to go. We’re going to be late for dinner.” I thought to myself as I took off my seatbelt to get more comfortable while waiting.

A few moments later, my daughter shouted from the back “mommy, that’s a LOT of hangers!” I looked out the window and saw my husband carrying about 100 hangers.

He popped open the trunk, put them in there, and sat back in the driver's seat. I just stared at him.

“I didn’t need hangers this instant, but thank you.” I said, as I felt a rush of emotions.

“I know, but I could tell you were getting stressed with the growing pile of your clothes, and thought I could help. Tonight, we’ll do your laundry together and get it all hung up,” he said to me as he squeezed my hand.

It was in that moment, I realized I had been searching for his love in all of the wrong places, completely.

You see, my husband has never been one to come home with chocolates or flowers often, and it took me many years to appreciate the way he loves me.

Growing up as a little girl, I would watch movies and see the big gestures. The surprise vacations.
The diamond necklaces.
The boombox over the man’s head, as he professed his love for the whole street to hear.

I was not taught about the subtle love.
The quiet love.
The “little” love.
The forever kind of love. The kind of love where he sees you needing help and does it without asking. The kind of love where he knows you so well, he can go to the store and pick out all of your favourite snacks. The kind of love where he knows your tricky coffee order, when sometimes you even forget it. The kind of love where he got up with the baby at two in the morning, so you could rest. The kind of love where he has seen you at your absolute worst and chose to keep loving you anyways.

I was never shown that kind of love in movies, books, and TV.

I was always taught to look for the big gestures.
I was always taught to look for the flowers being brought home.

Because you see, my husband has brought me home flowers, but I couldn’t tell you when, or how it was done.

What I can tell you is, each and every day, he’s done little things like this, to make my life a tiny bit easier.

Those flowers he brought died quickly. This type of love, lives forever.

Marry the man who doesn’t buy flowers often. Marry the man who doesn’t come home with extravagant presents every day.

Marry the man who will let you wait in the restaurant when it’s raining, and drive the car up to you, so you stay dry. Marry the man who loves you in a quiet way. For that is where the deepest, and more pure love can be found. The quiet love. The type of love where he just wants to make the things in your life, well, a little bit easier. Marry the man who buys the hangers.

Still more on "who you marry..."

Who you marry is the most important decision of your life because it sets the foundation for your emotional, mental, and spiritual journey. The person you choose to spend your life with shapes your worldview, your daily habits, and the way you respond to the challenges that come your way. Marriage isn't just about companionship; it's about choosing someone whose presence will influence your growth and support your dreams.

Who you marry determines the quality of the love and support you will experience throughout your life. In times of hardship, you need a partner who will stand by your side, hold your hand, and remind you of your strength. Their belief in you can be the difference between giving up and pushing forward.

Who you marry affects the way you experience joy and fulfillment. A shared vision and mutual understanding bring harmony into your home, making even the simplest moments feel extraordinary. The right person will enhance your happiness, not diminish it, and together, you’ll create memories filled with laughter, love, and gratitude.

Who you marry also plays a key role in how you build your family and raise your children. They will shape the environment in which your children grow, influencing their values, behavior, and emotional well-being. Together, you become role models for your kids, showing them what love, respect, and partnership truly look like.

Who you marry influences your personal growth and self-discovery. A supportive partner encourages you to explore your passions, push your limits, and become the best version of yourself. They will challenge you when necessary, but always in a way that uplifts and empowers you to evolve.

Who you marry determines how you navigate life’s uncertainties. With the right person by your side, the unexpected becomes manageable, and the burdens become lighter. They will offer you stability, wisdom, and patience when life tests your resilience, reminding you that you’re never alone in your struggles.

Who you marry directly impacts your peace of mind and emotional health. A loving partner provides a safe space where you can express your vulnerabilities, fears, and hopes without judgment. They nurture your emotional well-being, ensuring that your home is a place of peace and healing.

Who you marry shapes your shared purpose and goals. With aligned values and aspirations, you’ll work together to build a life that reflects both of your dreams. You’ll become partners not only in love but also in the pursuit of a meaningful, fulfilling life that leaves a lasting legacy.

Who you marry influences the type of legacy you leave behind. The values you build together, the family you create, and the impact you have on the world are all deeply intertwined with your partnership. Together, you create something that transcends both of you and carries forward for generations.

Who you marry is ultimately the person who will stand beside you through every season of life. They will be there to celebrate your victories, support you through your losses, and share in the quiet, everyday moments that make up the majority of life. Their presence will shape your journey, making marriage the most significant decision you will ever make.

                        

You might be thinking that the most important decision you'll make is the biggest purchase of your life -- house, cars, investments.

But according to a Filipino business tycoon, the biggest decision of your life is your Partner, your partner to all your challenges and success.

John Gokongwei Jr. said, "The most important decision you have to make in your life is whom you’re going to marry. That decision will dictate the rest of your life, whether you will have a happy life or a miserable one."'

Marry a good person.

Your spouse should be an ally in happiness and not a source of misery. The challenge is to find someone who shares the same beliefs and principles and can be your partner in parenthood and all aspects of your life.

 

 

sure wish i'd known these when i was younger...

 

Why a Christian cannot marry a non-Christian?

The first reason why believers cannot marry unbelievers is that the Bible forbids it.

There are two primary New Testament texts that speak to the issue of marriage between a believer and an unbeliever. In his first letter to the Corinthian church, Paul says, after a detailed discussion of marriage and singleness, that a woman whose husband has died “is free to marry whomever she wishes, only in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39; emphasis added). The principle in this text is that where legitimate marriage can occur—the believer has never married, or they are released from their previous marriage by the death of a spouse—it can only occur between two believers.

The second text that offers clarity on this issue is 2 Corinthians 6:14 where Paul says, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” The phrase “unequally yoked” refers to a close, intimate partnership—like marriage—where each person is meant to be “plowing” in the same direction, at the same speed, with the same purpose. Such a scenario can never occur for the Christian and the non-Christian. For a Christian to enter into marriage with an unbeliever, therefore, is not only an act of disobedience against their Lord, but it is also foolish.
Consider how this change affects every area of the Christian’s life and what basic differences now exist between you and your unbelieving boyfriend or girlfriend:

1. You have opposing masters (Matt. 6:24; Eph. 2:2). 2. You have opposing worldviews (Col. 2:2-8). 3. You have opposing sources of wisdom (Prov. 1:7). 4. You have opposing aims in life (1 Cor. 10:31). 5. You have opposite eternal destinies (Matt. 25:31-46). 6. You are in the Spirit; they are in the flesh (Rom. 8:6-9). 7. You are a slave to righteousness; they are a slave to sin (Rom. 6:20-23). 8. You are led by the Spirit; they are led by the god of this world (Rom. 8:14; 2 Cor. 4:1-6). 9. You are alive in Christ; they are dead in sin (Eph. 2:1-10).

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