The Special Bond Between Grandparents and Grandkids,
And Why It’s a
Good Idea to Raise Your Kids Near Their grandparents
Stacy Robertson
The minute you ask a grandparent about their grandchild, they cease to
be a stranger and turn into a friend. They always have some funny stories to
tell about their grandchildren. While telling it, their faces are full of
expression as they gesticulate wildly and you cannot help but notice the
incredible amount of pride shining through their eyes.
Having grandchildren is not just good for grandparent’s spirits, it’s
also good for the grandchildren.
A study by Evolution and Human Behavior showed that grandparents
who babysit their grandkids tend to live longer. Spending time playing with
their grandkids on the floor and running around the house chasing them helps
keep the elderly ones more active.
Aside from the physical aspect of it, grandparents who spend a lot of
time with their grandkids also have sharper minds. An Australian study showed
that grandmothers who watch their grandkids once a week had the highest scores
on memory and cognitive tests.
Grandchildren also help their grandparents to experience life in new
and exciting ways. A person who never thought about learning an instrument might
take it up when they become grannies and their grandkids need to learn it for
school.
They also hear all these cute stories about excursions and school trips
their grandkids go on. Not only that, but the grandparents have a listening ear
in their grandkids who will always want to be regaled with tales of the old
days and what their grannies got into.
A proud grandparent once said, “Grandchildren are my reward for
having children” and he couldn’t have said it any better.1
The grandparents aren’t the only ones gaining here,
having
grandparents is also beneficial to the grandkids.
1. Grandparents help their grandchildren to
develop a sense of history or heritage.
For a person to
know who they are, they need to know where they are coming from. The sense of
identity grandparents give to their grandkids have a huge impact on their
understanding of themselves in the future.
2. Grandparents pass on special family
traditions.
The stories
grandparents tell their kids about the family also gives them something to
enjoy as well as something they will appreciate forever.
3. Children with involved grandparents also
tend to have higher self-esteem.
This is perhaps
because their doting grandparents always have positive things to say about
them. Even if the kids were bullied at some point, those kinds of positive affirmations
eventually erase the sad memories and replace them with happy ones.
According to Susan
Bosak, author of How to Build the Grandma Connection, “Children who
have strong ties with involved caring grandparents develop higher self-esteem,
better emotional and social skills including an ability to withstand peer
pressure and enhanced academic performance.”
4. Grandparents act as an extra layer of
protection.
Be it emotional or
financial, grandparents are always there to support their grandkids. Several
grandparents have taken on the role of parents either entirely or partially.
Some of them take custody of the kids when their parents are unable to do so,
for instance, when they are incarcerated.
They can also just
keep the seat warm till the parents return from a trip, deployment, or any
other place that takes them away for a long time.
Studies have shown
that children benefit when their grandparents or other family members take care
of them as opposed to them being put into the foster care system.
5. Grandparents are great teachers
They also have so
much knowledge to impart to the little ones. Some kids lack certain skills
because their parents are so busy and unable to squeeze out the time to teach
them. Also, some parents don’t even have the skills, but the grandparents who
lived in a less mechanic time have the knowledge in their fingertips and are
more than willing to share them.
A few examples of the
classic skills grandparents teach their grandkids include sewing, gardening, pumping
a bicycle, cooking, and baking. Baking is perhaps the most common one of them.
Grandkids spend a lot of their time helping their grandparents bake even if all
they do is rub butter everywhere. On their part, grandparents tend to pass on
the best family recipes to their grandkids.2
Raising children near their
grandparents
So many parents and grandparents would love to make this happen, but it’s
not always possible. However, the benefits of this proximity between children
and their grandparents ought to make the adults do more than just consider the
option. It should make them work harder towards achieving it.
Below are 4 reasons why it’s a great
idea to raise children close to their grandparents
1. The children grow up without a bias towards
elderly people.
It’s a sad reality
that young people tend to be ageist, [and have] prejudice or discrimination
because of a person’s age. This they do even though everyone gets old and that
it’s simply life. Oh well, prejudices never make any sense. A study carried out
in 2017 showed that kids who have close relationship with their grandparents
are much less likely to show bias towards elderly people than those who
relationship with their grandparents is poor.
2. The tight bond between children and
grandchildren help to prevent depression in the children when they grow up.
Numerous studies
have shown that the above statement is a statement of fact. Between 1985 and
2004, interviews of over 350 parents and their adult grandchildren were
conducted as part of an ongoing study. The research showed that there was much
lower rates of depression in adulthood for the children who have strong
emotional bonds with their grandparents. Not only are the grandkids less depressed
as adults, but also the grandparents are much happier people.
3. The kids have a high Emotional Intelligence
(EQ) quotient
EQ is a very important
quality to have. The children who have a high EQ can control their emotions
better. They are also more social and tend to get along with people better.
Generally, they are very likable people and this could be attributed to them
spending a lot of time with their grandparents.
4. A solid support system
The kids have a
very solid support system in their parents and grandparents. Also, where
grandparents are, aunts, uncles, and cousins tend to be, adding to the support
system. Research by the University of Oxford showed that children who maintain
close relationships with their grandparents have less emotional and behavioral
issues than those who do not. It also equips them with the ability to better
handle traumatic life events and navigate adverse childhood experiences.3
At the end of the
day, being a grandparent is a very important position, not an honorary one.
Even if it is not feasible at the moment for a grandparent to live close to
their grandkids, extra effort should be put in to maintain a healthy
relationship.
From frequent
calls, texts, and other forms of communication to spending several holidays
together, it is pertinent that grandparents and grandkids spend quality time
with each other.
References
1 “Why more grandparents are
raising their grandchildren.” The
Conversation. Nancy P. Kropf, Susan Kelley. September 8, 2017.
2 “The bond between adult children
and their grandparents is an under-told love story.” The Guardian.
Josephine Tovery. October 30, 2019.
3 “Raising children near their
grandparents has scientific benefits (besides the gree babysitting!).” Mother.ly.
Heather Marcoux. October 11, 2018.
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